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    Swords & Soldiers: now with Morefun

    February 16, 2009 - 5:45pm

    How many games task players with defending "their freakishly large pepper?" Not enough, that's how many. Won't someone please think of the freakishly large pepper? We knew that Ronimo Games' Swords & Soldiers, the 2D side-scrolling strategy game, was very pretty, and very funny, but it wasn't until this latest trailer and its press release that we knew just how wonderfully weird it is.The press release names, among the strategy game's features, "historical inaccuracy" and "Morefun[TM]," which is described as "Ronimo's patent pending version of fun that makes games interesting and enjoyable to play. Imagine playing a game, that at the same time is actually fun. Powerful stuff."Swords & Soldiers could be out as soon as this month, but we wouldn't bet our freakishly large peppers on it. It's already been delayed once, and that vague "early 2009" at the end of the trailer isn't promising.Permalink | Email this | Comments

    This Week on the Nintendo Channel: Rubik's World

    February 16, 2009 - 4:45pm

    The Nintendo Channel (or, more likely, publisher The Game Factory) is way late to the party with this Rubik's World demo, since the game came out back in November, but we're still glad to see it. Despite being a licensed puzzle game based on the toy, the DS game looks genuinely interesting -- at the very least, more interesting than Imagine: Ice Skating or Whatever, which returns this week. This week's videos include teasers for Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon and Pokemon Platinum, along with the usual weekly WiiWare game video and a random assortment of other stuff.

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    Dragon Quest V sells over a million copies from July to December [update]

    February 16, 2009 - 3:40pm


    Square Enix released its worldwide sales data for the last nine months of 2008, along with some life-to-date sales for major releases. Just one game broke a million in those nine months: the DS remake of Dragon Quest V. The Artepiazza-developed RPG remake sold 1.19 million copies from April July to December, and 1.45 overall. Those numbers should increase quite a bit after this week, when the game is released somewhere outside of Japan. Yes, DQV topped the company's worldwide sales chart without actually being released worldwide. Other top sellers in the last three quarters of 2008 include Dissidia Final Fantasy, which sold 780,000 copies in Japan; Chrono Trigger, which sold 490,000 in Japan and 220,000 in North America, and Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, which sold 480,000 in Europe, 200,000 in North America, and 20,000 in Japan. If that number seems low, it's only because everyone in Japan already bought a copy: the game has sold a total of 1.96 million copies.Update: The Japanese Dragon Quest V came out in July 2008, so those sales cover that range. The LTD must then take into account sales from after the end of the year.Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

    Starmen: Earthbound will never come out on Virtual Console

    February 16, 2009 - 2:45pm


    The insane-for-Earthbound fansite Starmen.net claims to have some insider information about the problems behind Earthbound's no-show on the Virtual Console. The site is very serious about getting the game out somewhere, going to extreme steps for publicity. So we don't think it would lie about something of as much grave importance as the game's ESRB rating.According to a new writeup on the site about the state of VC Earthbound, it's not coming. Like, ever. Legal issues, mostly with music licensing due to the preponderance of references to other works in the soundtrack, keep the game from being approved by Nintendo of America's legal department. And according to Starmen's source, the ESRB rating -- about which we rejoiced back in May -- was a mistake. A clerical error that nobody cared enough to correct. The ESRB went and rated the game, thinking that Nintendo wanted them to.We're not entirely satisfied with this story. It handily explains why we haven't seen Earthbound in North America, but what about Japan? There didn't seem to be legal issues around the Mother 1&2 GBA release, and Earthbound is actually popular enough there to sell on the Virtual Console.Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

    Rumor: Virtua Tennis 2009 for Wii to support WiiMotion Plus

    February 16, 2009 - 1:10pm


    Sega may be soon walking onto the court with an extra spring in its step, as TechRadar UK reports that the recently announced Wii version of Virtua Tennis 2009 will ship with support for WiiMotion Plus. Citing an anonymous source, the site writes that the game will be among the first third-party titles to support the new controller tech, which promises to boost the Wii remote's sensitivity to motion. We remain interested in seeing what developers do with WiiMotion Plus once it's introduced, though Sega has yet to announce any plans for supporting the souped-up controls when Virtua Tennis hits a backspin for retail in May.As an aside, the rumor comes just as '80s tennis crybaby John McEnroe celebrates surviving half a century, his ball striking the white line of the Wii's target demographic. If any extra-sensitive waggle does make its way into Virtua Tennis 2009, we advise keeping your distance should McEnroe stop by for a quick tantrum game of doubles.Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

    Alec Baldwin waggles Wiimote on SNL

    February 16, 2009 - 12:40pm


    We're used to Alec Baldwin swooping down like some sort of comedy angel to save even the worst episodes of Saturday Night Live, but we doubt even Della Reese crossed with Don Rickles could have preserved the chuckles this week. A skit involving Wario Land: Shake It is a prime example of Baldwin's ability to bail out what's essentially a sinking ship.Jokes that tie Wiimote motion to masturbation are so old now as to be almost quaint, but Baldwin manages to bring a certain classiness to the proceedings, and the bit (which you can see after the break) ended up a semi-bright spot in an otherwise crushingly dim evening.

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    Now Playing: February 15-21, 2009

    February 16, 2009 - 11:00am


    Choose your platform to jump to a specific release list:Last updated: Thursday, 9:30 am

    (Note: All platform release lists are posted after the break; use "Continued" button below.)

    What's the sound of one bajillion simultaneous downloads? "Ca-ching," maybe? This week, the most expensive -- what'd exclusivity cost ya, Microsoft? -- and, dare we add, most hyped downloadable console game expansion of all time (a relatively short time), GTA IV: The Lost and Damned, hits Xbox Live Marketplace -- and retail, in the form of token cards.Additionally, the "fourth" Street Fighter game makes its console debut, alongside High School Musical 3: Senior Year. Decisions, decisions ...

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    Kick a soccer ball till you drop in Dead Rising's new 'Challenge Quests'

    February 16, 2009 - 11:00am


    We're happy to report on something fairly rare: an element added to Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop, rather than removed. Sure, the new "Challenge Quests" seem to serve as replacements for the Achievements absent from the Wii game (or any Wii game), but they represent significant playable content not present in the Xbox 360 version. The fact that this is at all positive news makes it the best thing we've heard about Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop since the GaGaGa SP video.Basically, the game features a selection of self-contained challenges. The few shown in these new screens include battling against giant zombies (not the most flattering way to show off your low-poly zombies), racing around the mall on a bike, and killing a group of zombies using only a soccer ball. No hands!Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments

    Wiikly Wares: Evasive Space and Life Force

    February 16, 2009 - 10:33am


    Today, we've got two new games. On the WiiWare side, there's Evasive Space, which is a shmup without all of the shooting. Then, on the Virtual Console, we've got ... a shmup. Man, they sure love flooding the Wii with shmups. If you want to try Evasive Space for free, remember we're giving it away for a few more hours. WiiWareEvasive Space (Yukes Company of America, 1-4 players, Rated E for Everyone - Mild Fantasy Violence, 1,000 Wii Points): Players take on the role of Konki the Stellar Guardian, who is charged with recovering stolen Constellation Stones that make up the heavens. Dr. Dark Matter and his space thieves have nabbed them, and players must navigate 20 dangerous time- and collection-based missions to get them back. Check out some screens in our gallery below.Virtual ConsoleLife Force (NES, 1-2 players, Rated E for Everyone - Mild Fantasy Violence, 500 Wii Points): An arcade shmup ported to the NES in 1988, players must navigate the inside of a giant alien that is infected by a strain of bacteria, shooting down enemies and grabbing power-ups when they can.There's also a weird sort of riddle that Nintendo included in the press release this week. Find it after the break.

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    The few new features in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of the Sky

    February 16, 2009 - 10:00am

    The official site for Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of the Sky now features new screenshots and info for Chunsoft's latest roguelike, which is a slightly updated version of Explorers of Time/Darkness. It's the Mystery Dungeon equivalent of Pokémon Platinum, basically -- same game, with a few new Pokemans and new quests. Thanks to the Pokemaniacs at serebii.net who immediately got to translatin', we can all read about the added content.The critters featured in Platinum will show up in Explorers of the Sky, including Shaymin and the new, wormy Origin Forme of Giratina. At least two new sidequests will be available, which help fill in the game's story. "Genius Igglybuff" stars the leader of the Wigglytuff Guild (in his past as an Igglybuff, and man is this getting weird to write) on an adventure with a Smoochum, a Wooper, and a Budew; "In the Dark Future" follows the game's ending, which means that we probably shouldn't talk too much about it, in the interest of keeping spoilers locked safely away in a Pokéball.[Via Serebii]Read | Permalink | Email this | Comments